I have epilepsy. Now what?

My initial reaction to the diagnosis was “Oh, well. No big deal. I’ll take medication the rest of my life and will be fine.” I joked among friends that I was now a lifetime drug addict. It didn’t take long for the full reality of my diagnosis to set in. Within a few weeks of beginning medication, I knew the medicine wasn’t working as the seizures continued and seemed to be getting worse. My professional life was forever changed as I realized my seizures would not allow me to work in the entertainment industry, something I dreamed of doing for over a decade. The stress and long hours required of an event manager simply did not match my “must haves” to control my seizures as stress and lack of sleep are major causes of seizures. At this point, the harassment of my co-workers was hitting a peak. I was working for a major entertainment company and my managers seemed to have little heart, compassion or understanding to what my day-to-day life was like. They got their jabs in where they could.  Their comments hurt and I took the appropriate steps within the human resource department. 

It was not an easy decision but I knew I had to make a career change for my survival. Since I had worked towards being part of the entertainment industry since I was 13, including taking out huge student loans to attend a well-known and recognized music business program in Nashville, Tennessee, the change did not come easily. I felt like a part of me had died. I grieved for my crushed dreams while trying to figure out a new path. Unhealthy thoughts crossed my mind as I wondered how many anti-epileptic pills I would need to swallow to end it all. By this point I had moved back in with my parents to transition jobs and living arrangements. This only added to my stress, causing more seizures, as I looked for a new place to live and job.



Before dreaming of working in the entertainment industry, I thought teaching would be my career. Many in my family work in education so the desire to teach seemed like an almost inherent skill. By this time it was the summer of 2007 so I went to work looking for a position before the school year began. I was blessed with quickly finding a job and was able to transition from my old job as a convention assistant to teacher with little delay.



The new job and schedule was great. However, paying full price for medication due to having no insurance for the initial three months of employment was financially and emotionally draining since the seizures continued. Even so, I figured some medication was better than none and continued to pay over $300 a month for my medication. I was eager to find a new local doctor who would hopefully adjust my medicine to be more effective in controlling my attacks.  That turned out to be a more difficult task than originally thought.